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Roughly one in ten fathers experiences depression between the start of their partner's pregnancy and their baby's first birthday (Paulson & Bazemore, JAMA 2010, PMID 20483973). Many are never screened for it: the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests pediatricians consider screening a mother's partner at the baby's six-month visit, but screening fathers is not a routine part of perinatal care in the US (Earls et al., Pediatrics 2019, PMID 30559120; Walsh et al., Pediatrics 2020, PMID 31879278). Part of the reason is that it doesn't usually look the way we expect depression to look in men.
fathers experiences depression from pregnancy through the baby's first year
median testosterone decline in men who became fathers (4.5-year study)
fathers are not routinely screened for depression as part of standard perinatal care in the US
In men, depression can show up as irritability, anger, withdrawal, or more drinking rather than sadness, which is part of why it goes unrecognized. In a national US survey of adults, not limited to new fathers, men reported anger attacks, aggression, and substance use more often than women did (Martin et al., JAMA Psychiatry 2013, PMID 23986338). The checklist is in our paternal postpartum depression symptoms guide. The pressures behind it, from broken sleep to the weight of providing to feeling like a bystander, are covered in why new dads experience postpartum depression too.
In a 4.5-year study of 624 men in the Philippines, those who became fathers showed a median 26% drop in morning testosterone and 34% in evening testosterone, a larger decline than in men who stayed single and did not become fathers (Gettler et al., PNAS 2011, PMID 21911391). The study measured hormones, not mood, so it does not show that the drop causes depression. It does show that fatherhood changes a man's body, not just his schedule. Add months of broken sleep, and a hard first year is not a willpower problem. Depression in new fathers is treatable, with the same approaches used for depression at any other time.
One of the strongest barriers to a struggling father getting help is whether he believes asking for it is allowed. Many still don't. The first useful thing anyone — a partner, a friend, a brother — can do is to make that ask normal out loud.
If drinking is part of the picture, see substance use support. The rest of this page is practical: help lines, support groups, and reading for dads.
If anyone is in immediate danger, if you or your partner has an urge or plan to harm themselves, the baby, or anyone else, or if your partner shows signs of postpartum psychosis (confusion, hallucinations, beliefs that don't match reality, rapidly shifting moods), call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Two of the lines below answer around the clock: 988 and the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline. The others offer referrals, peer support, and information, and the last is an outpatient clinic affiliated with this website.
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or feel like things are unraveling, call or text 988. It's free, 24/7, and you do not need to be "in crisis enough" to call.
Call or text 988 →Free, confidential, 24/7 — for fathers and partners too, not only mothers. English and Spanish, with interpreters in 60 languages.
Call or text 1-833-852-6262 →Free, confidential referrals and peer support for fathers as well as mothers. Press 2 for English, 1 para Español. Not a crisis line; calls and texts are returned 8am–11pm ET.
1-800-944-4773 →A long-running online resource for fathers with postpartum depression, run by Dr. Will Courtenay. Includes a self-assessment for paternal postpartum depression and background on how depression presents in new fathers.
postpartummen.com →Free fatherhood guides and resources, plus the 24:7 Dad® curriculum delivered through local organizations. Useful whether you're partnered, co-parenting, or parenting solo.
fatherhood.org →Outpatient mental health in Kendall Park, NJ, including a Perinatal Wellness IOP for pregnant and postpartum mothers (partners may join selected sessions). Call to ask what they offer for fathers and whether they take your plan. Emerald Wellness is affiliated with the operator of this website.
(732) 444-2626 →Peer groups and workshops for fathers, online and in person. The two PSI options are free.
Free phone call with a perinatal mental health expert, hosted by Postpartum Support International. No registration: dial 1-800-944-8766 and enter code 73162#.
Details via PSI →Free 90-minute virtual peer support group for fathers, hosted by Postpartum Support International. Registration required.
Register via PSI →Workshop for expectant fathers, run in person through hospitals and community organizations, with a live online option. Veteran dads coach rookies through the first three months. Check their Find page for the nearest location.
Find a workshop →A yearly awareness day, held the day after Father's Day, with an online campaign focused on fathers' mental health. Founded by Mark Williams and Dr. Daniel Singley, it is now run by Gidget Foundation Australia.
PSI: International Fathers' Mental Health Day →Hosting a dads' group or event in New Jersey? Let us know and we'll list it here.
Outside reading on the relationship strain, the identity shift, and the bond with the baby.
In one 8-year study of 218 married couples, relationship quality dropped suddenly after their first baby arrived, and the drop, small to medium in size, tended to last (Doss et al., J Pers Soc Psychol 2009, PMID 19254107). It is not a sign your relationship is broken. It is a sign you're both running on empty.
Gottman Institute: parenting articles →Mothers have "matrescence." Fathers have a parallel rewiring — hormonal, neurological, identity-level — that has only recently gotten a name. Understanding it makes the disorientation feel less like failure.
PSI: Resources for Fathers →If the bond between baby and birthing parent feels like a closed loop you're outside of, you are not alone, and it is not permanent. Small, specific ways to build the kind of attachment that lasts.
Zero to Three: The Daddy Factor →You do not have to wait until things are bad. Talk to your primary care doctor, or call 1-800-944-4773 (Postpartum Support International, press 2 for English) — they have resources and peer support specifically for fathers and can connect you with a clinician in New Jersey. It is a referral line, not a crisis line; calls are returned 8am–11pm ET. For support right now, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free and 24/7 at 1-833-852-6262. No referral needed, and both calls are free.